I know this is old newspaper already. But I find it damn true so I'm posting it.


Words Women Use (and what they really mean)

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is
only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to
watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing'
usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing"


THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and
hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say
you're welcome.

WHATEVER
It's a woman's way for saying "#@$@ you!"